Curiouser and Curiouser
by DarkPhoenixIncarnate
Summary: Final chapter is UP! AkuRoku ficlet based off of the book "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland" Slight lemon in last chapter. You have been warned!
1. Chapter 1

Axel was sexy.

It didn't take long for Roxas to figure this out, either. Oh no, actually, when they first met Roxas had already decided this.

Yes, Axel was quite sexy when around others. When speaking with other members of Orgy XIII Axel's voice was smooth, silky, dropping down to a lower, seductive octave. His steps were graceful and it seemed he made sure to sway his hips as he moved. His lips were always upturned in a small, sexy grin, and his eyes. Ohh his deep emerald eyes twinkled with amusement, and mystery.

Oh yes, Axel is one damn sexy nobody, when in the presence of others.

...So why...Roxas thought bitterly, shutting the book that lay in his lap, glaring up at the older redhead who was grinning like an idiot, poking him over and over.

'So why the hell is he such a moron with me??' He inwardly screamed, and for a moment, debated whether or not he should scream at the redhead, who continued to poke his cheek still grinning like a moron.

After thinking about it for a moment however, he settled on giving Axel his best death glare.

"...What?"

Axel put a hand to his chest, gasping a bit, his eyes wide as though he was offended.. "Why Roxas, I'm ashamed at you, using a tone like that on your elder." Axel said, shaking his finger in front of Roxas's face with a disappointed motherly look.

The blonde's eye twitched, and a low growled escaped his throat. "Enough." He gripped Axel's finger, squeezing it, HARD. "What the hell do you want?" Roxas hissed out through gritted teeth, having already been pissed off at Axel, before the redhead even arrived!

He glared down at his book for a moment, hoping for a second that he could make it burst into flames, the damn thing being the instigator of his rage.

Axel however, only pouted at the grip on his finger, poking Roxas's forehead until the teen let go. "Now now Rox, that's no way to treat your _loverrrr_."

The teen's eye twitched once again glancing up at the redhead. "That was one night, a long time ago. Let. It. Go." At this, Axel pouted once again, leaning down so he was eye level with the blonde.

"I've been wondering about that, Roxy. Why is it that it was only one night? ...I mean sure you make out with me every once in a while...But you refuse to let me go further."

His pout deepened at this."Any reason why, huh? And you can't say that I'm bad in bed 'cause I _know _you weren't faking those screams."

At this, Roxas felt a blush come to his cheeks, flashbacks of that night returning to him once again. Without realizing it, he allowed his eyes to flutter closed, trying to recall the memory as accurately as possible, trying to remember the low, seductive words Axel whispered into his ear, as the older warm hands slid down his bare chest lower and lower until they arrived at the hem of his pants-

"Yo, Rox! Roxxyy!! Come backkkk!!" Axel called out shaking the blonde desperately, pulling him out of his memory. He glared up at the redhead for interrupting his thoughts. Axel however, was too busy with his over dramatics to notice the intensity of the rage burning in the blonde's eyes.

"Oh Roxy! I'm so glad that you're alright! Why, I was just terrified that I had lost you for a moment!" He practically cried out, fake tears of concern forming in his eyes.

At this point, Roxas was gripping the book in his hands so tightly that he feared he might crush the poor thing. God dammit! Why the hell must Axel be such an IDIOT!?!

Where the hell was the Axel he first met? Where the hell was the sexy redhead who seduced him with graceful movements and burning eyes? Huh!? HUH!??! Where the FUCK was he!?!'

He glared down at the book again before turning his glare back to Axel. "You...want to know _why?_" he ground out, his eye twitching once again.

Axel blinked a few times, halting in his dramatics. "Huh?" Roxas growled, "You want to know WHY I refuse to let you do anything to me? It's because you're such a FUCKING MORON that being in your presence, let alone TOUCHING you would be enough to drive me INSANE!!"

With that, Roxas portaled out of the library, leaving his book behind in his rage.

"....What the hell was that about?" Axel mumbled, his eyebrow raised as he glanced down, seeing the book Roxas was reading when he arrived. "...What? Was he pissed that I interrupted his reading?" He mumbled aloud once again, picking up the book. "...Alice in Wonderland?"

A low, almost mocking chuckle sounded throughout the library, glancing up Axel's eyes landed on Zexion, who was sitting in a far corner of the room, surrounded by piles of books.

A frown came to the redhead's face as he stepped closer, his moments slow, and steady. "Did you find something amusing about my little 'spat' with Roxas, Zexion?" He asked, his voice cold, devoid of any 'emotion'

It took only a moment for Zexion's chuckle to die down, but a rare, amused smirk played across his lips. "As a matter of fact, IIX I did." Raising an eyebrow, Axel smirked a little, leaning foreword. "Oh? And what was it that you found amusing, VI?"

Zexion's smirk only widened at the question. "Your ignorance." Emerald eyes widened for a moment, but then soon relaxed, keeping their composure. The redhead let out a slow, husky chuckle. "Hm? What ever do you mean, Zexion?"

"You asked Roxas why he refused to let you, for lack of a better word...bang him."

"...Hm. What's your point, Zexion?"

At this, the elder member stood, grabbing a book and opening a portal back to his room. "My point is, Axel. That you seem so desperate to find an answer to your inquiry, when the answer was in front of you all along, right in your hands." With that, he stepped into the portal, leaving Axel to wonder what the hell he was talking about.

"...In my..hands?" He glanced down at the book he was still holding. "...Alice in Wonderland, hm?"

"The answer's in this book, is that what you're saying, Zexion?" Axel mumbled to himself, taking a seat on the couch and getting comfortable.

"Hmph. Something to pass the time." he mumbled, opening it to the first page.

To Be Continued...


	2. Chapter 2

"What....The...."

Axel stared incredulously at the book in his hands. "What...the fuck was THAT!?!" He was quick to slam the book closed, hurling it across the library, and assuming a fetal position, his thumb in his mouth as he rocked back and forth...

Psh, yeah right.

Actually the redhead just continued to stare at the book, wondering what kind of drugs the person who WROTE the damn thing was ON.

'Well...' Axel reasoned, the damn thing seemed to rely on MUSHROOMS...so that was an obvious hint... "I suppose..." Axel mumbled, dropping the book onto the oak table in front of him.

"What a waste of my existence..." He mumbled, running a hand through his flaming red spikes. "How the hell does that explain why Roxas is being so pissy?" He asked aloud, glancing up at the ceiling as he spoke, as though it would give him a reply.

It didn't.

But just because the CEILING refused to speak, doesn't mean Zexion did.

"Did you enjoy the book, Axel?" Inquired the azure haired nobody, who was nonchalantly leaning against a book shelf, his eyes focused on the book in his hand, but if one looked closely, you could tell he wasn't paying attention.

The slight amused look on his face betrayed his lack of focus on the page in front of him.

But as of right now Axel didn't really feel like being observant, he only turned to face said Zexion, his arms crossed. "The writer was obviously on shrooms... Or crack."

"He was on neither, VIII. The book was merely a product of his imagination." At this, Axel rolled his eyes, placing a hand on his hip and gesturing with his right hand.

"Uh huh, sure. Whatever. Either way, the book did nothing to explain Roxas's temper tantrum this morning."

Chuckling low in his throat, Zexion shut the book in his hand, not even making an attempt to pretend he was reading it at this point.

"Really VIII? Surely you're much more intelligent than this. Hm..." A small, devious smirk made its way to Zexion's lips.

"I suppose I can give you a few hints, seeing as how I'm finding your dilemma extremely amusing."

Axel only shot him a dirty, frustrated look. "Well?"

"Tell me, Axel. Do any of the characters in that book remind you of anyone you may know? The answers are closer then you think." With that, Zexion portaled out with a dark chuckle.

"....Remind me of anyone I know...." Axel raised an eyebrow, putting his hands on his hips and glancing up at the ceiling. "Hmm. Well, YOU, Zexion, remind me of the smoking caterpillar." He laughed a bit aloud, knowing that Zexion was no longer in the room.

"Hm, alright then Rox. Let's see what you're thinking..." He mumbled to himself, a small smirk forming on his lips as he strode out of the library smoothly, thinking it over.

"...Well, Alice is certainly Roxas...just less evil..." He grinned at the thought, absentmindedly touching the scar just below his ribs where Roxas's keyblade sliced him during their last friendly 'fight'.

After a minute or two of straining himself, thinking realllyyy hard...he gave up.

Axel rolled his eyes a bit. "What a load of crap. I have more important things to do." He spoke aloud, heading into the dining hall and into the kitchen, raising an eyebrow as he saw Luxord and Xaldin seated at the small table.

"Hello Axel! Would you like a cup of tea?" Luxord asked with a grin, holding a cup out to Axel.

"Uh, no thanks...Hey, have you two seen Roxas?"

"Hm? Oh Hello Axel! Would you like to join us?!" Luxord called out, waving him over, Axel blinked a few times. "...What the hell are you doing?"

Xaldin raised an eyebrow, pouring himself another cup of tea. "What does it look like?" He reached into his pocket, pulling out a flask and spiking his tea.

Luxord grinned again. "We're having a tea party of course!" He called out with a bit of a giggle, grabbing the flask from Xaldin and pouring more of the liquid into the drink.

Axel walked closer, pulling the flask from Luxord's grip and sniffing it. "...You're having a tea party...With RUM?"

"Of course! Come come, SIT! You MUST have a cup of tea!" Luxord grinned, pouring him a cup and handing it to him.

Axel raised an eyebrow, glancing at the glass in his hand. "Uh huh, is this spiked too?"

"Oh course not! Here, Sit SIT!" He grabbed Axel's arm, pulling him into the chair and grinning. Axel fumbled with the cup of tea in his hands, almost spilling it, he sighed in relief when he managed to save it and set it down on the table.

Xaldin finished his rum soaked tea in one gulp, "AH! Delicious. More tea please!" Luxord's eyes widened. "More tea!?! Yes MORE TEA!!"

The blonde nobody almost giggled, reaching over and grabbing Axel's cup, handing it to Xaldin.

"Here you are, More tea! Why, now that you mention it, I could use more tea!!!"

He grabbed the tea pot, pouring himself more before looking at Axel, who's facial expression was lost between flabbergasted, and hilarious laughter.

"And now my dear, something seems to be troubling you! Wont you tell us all about it?"

Axel raised an eyebrow, but opened his mouth to speak, then was interrupted by Xaldin. "YES! Start at the beginning!"

"Yes yes, and when you come to the end, STOP." Luxord finished for him, taking another sip of his tea.

"Uh huh. Well, I was in the library with Roxas-"

Xaldin cut him off. "But didn't you say you were LOOKING for Roxas?"

"Yeah I did-"

Luxord cut him off as well. "Well then you answered your own question! He's in the library!"

Xaldin nodded grabbing the pot. "Great job! Lets celebrate this discovery with more tea!"

"MORE TEA!?!" Luxord cried out drunkenly, holding up his tea cup. "Yes! More tea! More tea!!!!"

"....." Axel watched with wide eyes, before his face slowly became blank. He stared for a moment, before rolling his eyes and standing.

"...Right. I'll just ask someone else." With that, he turned, walking away from the two members, who were busy suckling on more tea.

"Idiots." Axel mumbled, heading out of the dining area, and continuing his search for Roxas.

**-TO BE CONTINUED!!-**

**XD Review, Please!?!**


	3. Chapter 3

Roxas felt like crap.

Okay, crap was an understatement, but since he really wasn't in the mood to be creative, he couldn't think of another way to describe the way he felt. So to save time, he just settled with crap.

Yes, Roxas DID feel like crap. Why, you ask?

Simple.

"Because I was being an ass to my best friend. That's why." The blonde mumbled to himself, almost hatefully.

But…It wasn't really his fault…Right? I mean, yeah the redhead had been poking the crap out of him, and he WAS already pissed off from that damn book. But that didn't justify being an ass to Axel…Right?

"Fuckin Louis Carroll." He spat out viciously as he stomped down the halls of the Castle that Never Was.

Did he ever mention how STUPID he thought that name was? Axel once said Xemnas must've been taking emo pills when he named the place. The teen chuckled at the memory, enjoying the mental image of Axel acting out Xemnas popping pills.

Yet as his amusement grew at the thought, his guilt followed suit. Yes, he shouldn't have been so hard on his friend. This is why Roxas was now searching for him, to…apologize…And by apologize he meant hurling his keyblades at the older nobody and all out kicking each others asses. Then maybe after they were panting, bloody, sweaty, and bruised, they'd make out a little.

Declaring to himself that this was in fact, a great idea, Roxas continued on his 'journey' heading into the first room he saw.

Not a smart idea, Rox.

The teen almost sneezed as the various scents raped his nose, he cringed, trying to adjust to his settings and ignore the smell of the large flowers surrounding him.

Marluxia's garden. He was in Marluxia's garden.

Fan-fucking-tastic.

With a heavy sigh, and a 'well, as long as I'm here' attitude, Roxas continued through the garden, walking along the small dirt path laid out in front of him. As he walked along this path he couldn't help but glance around in awe, the deeper he went into the garden, the larger the flowers became, until they were about his height, hell, some even TALLER then he was!

The teen vaguely wondered what kind of sexual favor Marluxia had to perform on Vexen in return for the plant growing toxin which he undoubtedly used. Oh jeez, Roxas could just hear it now, Axel bursting out laughing as he proclaimed that it MUST'VE been a blow job, or two, or ten. He rolled his eyes at the thought, but couldn't help but let a small, SMALL smile grace his lips at the thought. He loved hearing Axel laugh. He'd never admit it though.

Ever.

"What's that?" Roxas blinked a few times upon hearing the words and glanced around, seeing nothing but flowers. "...Weird."

"How peculiar!" Unable to recognize the voice, he became defensive, summoning his keyblades in a flash and glancing around warily.

"Oh my!"

"Would you look at that!"

"How RUDE!!"

Roxas's grip on his keyblades tightened as he continued to look around, trying to spot just who the hell was talking. "Who's there!" He called out.

"My, such violence!"

"Oh my dear, he's male, what do you expect?"

The teen whirled around, hearing the voices from behind him. "Show yourself!!"

"Oh posh! Put those things away!" Called the Daisy to his left...Wait, DAISY?!? Roxas's grip on his keyblades went lax for a moment as he stared at the daisy in shock, the plant putting her 'hands' on her 'hips' "You heard me boy! Put those things away!"

He backed away, his eyes wide. "Y-You can TALK!?!"

A giggle came from his right, "Of course we can talk!" Said the forget-me-not with a wide smile. Needless to say, Roxas was completely flabbergasted! The large flowers around him all seemed to come to life, their eyes on him.

"What's wrong, child?" The blonde turned seeing a large red rose seemingly smiling down at him, blinking, he backed up a little. "A-Ah...I'm sorry...I just didn't know flowers could...talk..."

"We can sing too!" Cried out the Daisy, and the rose nodded, looking back down at Roxas. "Would you like to hear a song, young one?" Roxas shook his head, having calmed down at this point...well, slightly. "No thanks..."

The flowers gasped at his response mumbling to each other in low, offended tones. The teen was quick to correct himself, not wanting to start an argument or something, he was feeling a headache come on already.

"It's not that I'd actually MIND hearing you all sing, I just don't have any time, I'm sorry."

"That's quite alright dear." Answered the large rose in front of him, the Orchid beside her looked quite offended, but she kept silent.

"So uh...Have any of you seen a tall guy with bright red hair walk though here?"

The flowers glanced at each other before shaking their heads. "Oh no, we've seen nothing like that. You're the first seedling we've seen in a long while."

Roxas blinked a few times. "What?"

The Rose however, ignored him, leaning down closer to him. "So my dear, what species, or genus are you?"

The teen raised an eyebrow at this. "Genus?" He thought for a moment. "Uh, I guess I'd be a...genus...nobodius...Roxas."

The flowers looked at each other once again, before fervently gossiping.

"Hey, have you ever seen a Roxas that looks like that?!"

"Hmph. Come to think of it, have you ever seen a Roxas?"

"Look at those peculiar black petals!" A carnation exclaimed, gesturing to his coat.

"And those scrawny stems!"

There came a giggle to his right. "I think he's CUTE!"

"Oh quiet blossom."

"He certainly doesn't look like a flower."

"I wonder just WHAT he is!!"

"Ladies, ladies..." A smooth, deep voice intervened. Roxas blinked, looking over his shoulder and seeing Marluxia. Said nobody smirked, walking right past the blonde.

"It's Marluxia!"

"Hello master!"

"Beautiful morning isn't it?"

Marluxia chuckled a bit, standing in the middle of the flower bed. "So, tell me, what's going on here?"

"Well, We're trying to figure out what species this...Roxas...is!" Answered a lilly to his left.

"Oh?" He smirked once again. "I think I can answer that. Why he's nothing more then a common over grown Soliva sessilis."

All the flowers gasped at this. "Oh no!!" Some of them cried out, and Roxas blinked a few times. "A what?!"

The lily glared at him, leaning down. "To put it bluntly, a WEED!"

Roxas raised an eyebrow. "What? I'm not a weed!"

The flowers immediately started gossiping once again. "Well you wouldn't expect him to admit it!"

"Can you imagine!"

"Well goodness!"

"Don't let him stay here and go to seed!" The flowers suddenly started shoving him with their leaves. "Go now!"

"Shoo!" "We don't want WEEDS in OUR garden!"

"Gah!" They continued shoving him, until he fell flat on his face, arriving right where he started on the dirt path. The blonde growled.

"FINE. God damn fucking bitches! Fucking Marluxia and his god damn fucking bitch ass flowers!" He cursed to himself, stomping out of the garden and back into the hallway, covered in dirt and growling angrily.

**TO BE CONTINUED**


	4. Chapter 4

While Roxas was grumbling and cursing down the hallways, Axel, who was on the other side of the castle, was doing some grumbling and cursing of his own.

Although, HIS choice of words weren't as...colorful...as Roxas's were.

And as said redheaded nobody was preoccupied grumbling and cursing through the halls, he failed to notice the large black thing hurtling towards him at very high speeds.

Needless to say, when it collided with him and threw him onto the floor, he noticed it.

Axel groaned loudly in pain, having hit his head pretty damn hard on the ground. "Owww..." He winced and tried to sit up, only to find that he was far too dizzy and his head was throbbing way too much.

"OMFG. Axel!! Are you okay, man!?!"

"Ah...Wha?" With another groan, the redhead blinked a few dozen times his blurred vision slowly coming back into focus. "...Dem...yx?"

Said nobody scratched the back of his head. "Uh yeah, I'm reallyyy sorry Axel!" He held out his hand to the redhead, biting his lip, hoping Axel wouldn't be too pissed. Luckily for him, Axel was still completely disoriented from his little fall, so all he did was take Demyx's hand, and pull himself up off the ground, trying desperately to ignore the pounding in his head.

Fuckin Demyx.

Speaking of Demyx, the fool was still apologizing over and over, and poor Axel felt his headache begin to turn into a migraine. "Yo, yo Demyx. It's okay man...Calm down..."

The sitarist pouted, hanging his head down. "I'm sorry...Is there anything I can do?"

"...Yeah, you seen Roxas anywhere?"

Demyx blinked a bit, before smiling and nodding. "Uh huh, I saw him a few minutes ago!"

At this, Axel suddenly grinned, his eyes twinkling. "Really? That's great! Where'd you see him, Dem?"

"Hmm..." Demyx put a finger to his chin, glancing up at the ceiling. "Let me think..."

The redhead's eye twitched, just a little, but he attempted to remain calm. But after waiting for just a little under 2 minutes, he began to get impatient.

"Well?!"

"Hold on dammit! I gotta retrace my steps...Hmm, lets see....Well...I was in the kitchen, had some tea with Luxord and Xaldin, then headed for The Hall of Empty Melodies...Then I checked my watch-" Demyx glanced down at his watch as he said this, then his eyes, widened. "MY WATCH!!! HOLY FUCKING HELL I'M LATE!!!!! Sorry Axel! Gotta go!!" He turned about to make a run for it, but was stopped by Axel who gripped his hood. "Oh no you don't!!"

Demyx thrashed, crying out frantically. "Axel!! I can't!! No time for goodbyes! No time for Hellos!" He yanked himself free. "Gotta go!!!!" With that he ran off into a portal.

"What the...DEMYX! GET YOUR PALE WHITE ASS BACK HERE AND TELL ME WHERE THE FUCK ROXAS IS!!!!" But alas, Demyx was long gone, leaving Axel with a migraine, a frequently twitching left eyelid, and the urge to burn something.

For that moment all thoughts of finding Roxas left him, right now? All he wanted to do was find the sitar player, and BURN off his Mohawk. But how the FUCK would he be able to find him?! It wasn't like he just magically KNEW where everyone in the organizat-

"That's it!!" Axel cried out, thrusting his finger into the air. It was so simple, he felt like a dumbass for not realizing it in the first place. He could just ASK ZEXION.

That fucker knew where EVERYONE was with that damn nose of his! He could find Demyx for him, fuck that, he could find ROXAS. YESH.

Well, now that Axel actually KNEW where the fuck he wanted to go, all he needed to do was GO there. And he did, or at least he started on his way to the library before halting in his steps, wincing a little as he heard a loud, off key shrieking coming from the open door to his left.

"What, is Larxene singing again?" He mumbled to himself, hearing the shrieking stop, and in the same voice he heard the word. "Ma-Ma!"

Axel blinked, slowly turning his head towards the open door. "What the-"

"Ma-Ma!"

Curiosity getting the best of him, Axel decided to check it out. He stepped into the room, raising an eyebrow when he saw Larxene.

XII paid absolutely no attention to him, she was too busy sitting at a chair, holding in her arms a baby doll. She seemed to be singing to it, completely out of tune, but singing all the while. At times the doll cried, and she immediately silenced it by landing a very hard blow to it's head. It immediately replied with a loud shriek of "Ma-Ma!"

But of course, she ignored it, instead focusing on the table in front of her, which was covered with various tools. Everything from medical supplies, to random puzzle pieces, to super glue and socks were on the table. She looked over her tools almost fondly, rocking the baby slightly in her arms as she seemed to contemplate what to do next.

Well, he was here anyway. Might as well find out what the fuck was going on, and hell, if she knew where Roxas was, that was even better.

"...Yo, Larxene!" Axel gave her one of his _sexiest _grins, as he slowly, smoothly strode over to her, swaying his hips a little as he did so.

But when she didn't even look up an acknowledge him, Axel knew something was wrong. I mean fuck, this was LARXENE. The same Larxene who's been trying to get into Axel's pants for MONTHS. The same Larxene who molests him every chance she gets! And she was IGNORING HIM! Instead of giving him any attention, she turned it all to the child in her arms, and began singing to it, not noticing that she was horribly out of tune.

_"Speak roughly to your little boy..."_

She held the doll with one hand, the other reaching over and grabbing a pair of pliers from the table. She turned back to the 'child' and continued singing to it.

_"And beat him when he sneezes."_

Using the pliers, she gripped the dolls left eye and began tugging! Her fingers tightened around the pliers, and she grunted a bit in effort.

"Come on you son of a-AH!"

With a loud, almost violent 'Pop!' the eyeball came out, and Larxene smiled sweetly, examining the eyeball.

This sight was enough to make Axel, the living breathing anorexic stick of fire, shutter as though something cold ran down his spine.

Larxene still paid no mind to him, she only continued rocking the toy, singing to it.

_"He only does it to annoy..."_

Grabbing hold of the doll's leg, she tugged on it for a moment, before it too came out with a little violent 'pop!' She dunked the appendage into a can of black paint, then set it down to dry. Axel noticed, with quite a bit of horror, that the dolls other leg and stomach was covered in black paint as well.

_"Because he knows it teases."_

Larxene stroked the toy's bald head, sitting it up in between her legs. She squeezed her thighs together, holding the doll in place as she opened a tube of super glue, and using a Popsicle stick, she smothered it's head with the stuff! All the while, she kept singing!

_"I speak severally to my little boy..."_

She capped the almost empty tube of super glue, then tossed it onto the table. Reaching over, she grabbed something large and black. Axel soon realized it was a wig! A wig with long, black hair in a pony tail. The black hair had various long while streaks running along it. Wasting no time, she smashed the wig onto the toy's head, the super glue oozed out from under the wig, running down the toy's forehead. Larxene paid no mind to this, she only continued singing as she adjusted the wig.

_"And beat him when he sneezes."_

At this point, Axel was watching in a mild disturbed horror as she grabbed and eye patch from the table, pulling it over the doll's missing eyeball.

_"For he can thoroughly enjoy..."_

With another wide, sadistically sweet smile, Larxene summoned one of her knives, plunging it into the doll, where it's heart would've been.

_"The pepper when he pleases!!"_

Axel only stood there, staring, with his arms hanging limply to his sides, and his mouth opening and closing a little, almost like a fish, gasping for breath. He was speechless, speechless!!

It was at this moment that Larxene decided to notice that he was in her room. She glared at him, standing. "What the hell are you doing in here!?!" But, as I mentioned before, Axel was speechless, he only stared at the doll in her arms, wondering why the fucking hell Larxene decided to make a baby doll resemble Xi-

"GET THE HELL OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She shrieked angrily, shoving him with one arm, as hard as he could, until he fell out the door, onto his ALREADY sore and aching ass. She 'humph!'ed at him, slamming the door in his face. Axel's eye began to twitch again as he sat on the floor, staring incredulously at her door.

"...What...the FUCK....Was THAT!?!?"

End of Chapter 4

TO BE CONTINUED!

Review plz?

XD


	5. Chapter 5

Shockingly enough, so far Axel's trip to the library had been unmarred by disaster.

Yes really, it's shocking. Trust me, I know. I wrote it.

Axel glanced at the ceiling frowning. "Yo, stop breaking the fourth wall already~! Jeez, can we get back to the story? I want to find Roxas and sex him up, DAMNIT."

"…Brat. You'll pay for that later."

"…Shit."

"WHO'RE YOU TALKING TO, AXEL!?!?!" screamed a voice from right behind him, right into his ear. Axel's eye twitched a little, and he cleaned out his left ear with his pinky. "Hey Xigbar."

The elder nobody pouted and stepped in front of Axel…Only thing was, he was upside down. "Weak dude, weak."

"Righhhttt…So, who're you supposed to be?" At this, Xigbar blinked a few times. "Uh, what?"

Axel shook his head, sighing a little and rubbing his forehead. "Hey, Xigbar, mind getting out of my way? I gotta go see Zexy."

Xigbar put a finger to his chin, thinking it over, still hanging upside down. It was an amusing sight, to say the least. "Hmmm, alright dude, since you asked _so _nicely." The elder nobody chuckled as he said this, stepping out of Axel's way, still upside down.

Axel only rolled his eyes, a small grin coming to his lips. "Thanks. Oh and, a word of advice? If you see Larxene…I suggest you run. Fast."

II raised an eyebrow at this, which, as I said before, was an amusing sight, seeing as he was upside down. "…Why?"

Axel's grin only widened. "…Curiosity killed the cat, Xigbar."

"It died satisfied, Axel." Said Xigbar with a grin of his own, opening a portal and stepping into it.

As Axel continued on his merry way, he started feeling extremely hypocritical, seeing as his curiosity about Roxas had led him here, back to where he began. But, he ignored these thoughts as he entered the library, now searching for Zexion.

What he found however, wasn't Zexion. Or, well, maybe it was. Axel couldn't tell. See, the second he walked through the door, a puff of purple smoke collided with his face, obscuring his vision.

Now Axel, being the sexy pyromaniac that he was, didn't mind smoke. Oh no, he actually loved the scent of burning materials. Plastic especially, oh, and burning hair, he _loved _that scent. Mostly because of an incident involving a very unfortunate Saix, and a barbeque. But that story could be told later. ((Authors note: Or never, really. I'm too lazy))

Anyway, getting back to the topic, Axel usually loved the scent of smoke. But this? This wasn't normal smoke. Oh no, this made him GAG, and it tasted gross.

"What the hell?" He continued into the library, wondering where the hell this foul smoke was coming fro- "ACK!" He coughed so hard his lungs began hurting, the smoke colliding in his face once again.

And as he was coughing his lungs up, his watering eyes managed to glance up, catching glimpse of something, just downright weird.

Above him was every letter of the alphabet, floating above him in a neat little line. Although occasionally, the split away from the line, forming words, before breaking apart once again and floating to their doom in the vents. A few stray letters however, floated downward, harmlessly hitting the book shelves, before dissipating.

"Curiouser and Curiouser…" Axel mumbled, his slightly reddened eyes watching in awe as the letters continued to flow through the room. Instinctively, his legs followed his gaze, heading for the source of this mysterious smoke.

It didn't take long for him to locate the source. Within a moment or two, he was in front of a large chair, which stood several feet higher then him, and lounging on that that chair, was non other then Zexion himself. His lexicon was floating in front of him, the pages slowly turning on their own. The Lexicon, Axel found, was the source of the mysterious letters made of smoke.

It seemed that the book was copying the letters right off of the pages in alphabetical order, turning them into multi colored smoke and letting them form words in the air. A stray "R" collided with Axel's face, and he started coughing roughly once again. This drew the attention of Zexion, who only half smirked, sending more smoke letters his way, until he was trapped in an almost makeshift bubble of smoke.

Joy.

As Axel was coughing up another lung, he decided that he truly hated Zexion, and the moment he got what he wanted, he was going to burn that book into nothing but ashes.

With a loud, violent, and extremely painful sneeze, the smoke seemed to clear, leaving a red eyed Axel. Zexion just chuckled deeply at the sight. "Hello Axel."

The redhead's eye twitched, but he held back his anger, for now.

"Roxas. Where is he?"

The amused look on Zexion's face hardened at those words, a frown coming to his features. "Is that anyway to greet a superior, VIII?"

At this point, Axel's headache was literally pounding in his ears, this was getting overboard. "Zexion. I'm not in the mood for your SHIT!!!" Sparks suddenly began to form in the air, threatening to catch fire to every book in the room.

Zexion raised an eyebrow, keeping a cool composure, but inwardly panicking just a bit, knowing Axel could burn down the entire library within a matter of seconds. He had to play this cool.

"You say you're looking for Roxas, correct? He is searching for you as well. In fact, he just stepped into the Library." Axel, who actually was a half second away from destroying the ENTIRE castle, whirled around. "Roxas?"

But, Axel had fallen for Zexion's bluff, which was extremely out of character for him, then again, this DAY just seemed out of character. Wait, did I say day? No, I meant night. Since it was always night in the World That Never Was…But anyway, I digress.

Instead of seeing said sexy blonde behind him, Axel was met with a giant book. Said giant book opened to a blank page, and before Axel could react, it closed around him, and then shrank back down to a normal size.

A small smirk came to Zexion's lips as he summoned his Lexicon back into his hands, looking down at the open book, at Axel, who was trapped onto one of the pages.

**TO BE CONTINUED**

**XP**

**Told you he'd pay for it later. D**


	6. Chapter 6

........

Do you have ANY idea how had it is to get dirt off of a black coat? Do you? No?

Well fuck you, because Roxas knows.

Oh yes, he KNOWS. And at this point? He was getting so frustrated with his coat he was half tempted to rip the damn thing off and continue his man hunt for Axel shirtless. Yes, that is exactly how pissed off he was, and it was all thanks to Marluxia's stupid ass flowers.

Oh and, did you know that patting the dirt stain only SPREADS it around? Did you know that? Because really, ROXAS didn't know that.

Well, NOW he knows.

The poor blonde thought he would scream in frustration! Which made him want to find Axel even more, seeing as the elder nobody was always good at relieving stress.

...

...Not like THAT you fricken perverts!! He meant fighting! Training! Going at each other with nothing but fury and metal. Their weapons colliding, Chakram and Key, in a never ending friendly, sweaty battle. And at the end both parties would finish, drenched in sweat, but completely satisfied.

...Yeahhh, where was Axel again? Roxas had NO idea. But then he blinked, realizing something. Where do people, well nobodies, go when their looking for other nobodies? ZEXION! That fucker could find ANYONE with his nose!

And, since Roxas saw that he was right next to the kitchen, he rationalized that he should just search there first. Who knows! He might even find Axel by mistake. With a new found confidence, and the dirt on his coat forgotten, Roxas stepped into the kitchen.

"HAPPEH LUXORD MONTH, LUXORD!!"

"AND TO YOU, MY FRIEND! A HAPPY XALDIN DAY!!!!"

"WOOO!!"

"WE SHOULD CELEBRATE!!!"

"BUT HOW!?!?!"

"WITH MORE TEA OF COURSE!!"

"YESH! MOAR TEEEAAA~~~!!!!!!"

Roxas watched his two superiors with a look of indifference, after all, Luxord and Xaldin shit faced drunk wasn't anything new, really. He just hoped they were sober enough to answer his question without trying to molest him or something. "Uh...Hey guys...You seen A-"

"OH MY STRINGS AND SITARS~!! I'M LATEEEE!!!!"

The teen blinked a few dozen times, raising an eyebrow as he saw Demyx run in the room yelling about a lost sheet of paper or something. "...Curious." Roxas mumbled under his breath, watching the scene before him play itself out.

Demyx's screaming and searching caught the attention of Luxord and Xaldin who grinned at each other drunkenly, then grinned at the poor sitarist.

"Demyx my boy! Welcome back!" Luxord grabbed Demyx's arm, pulling him into a seat and wrapping an arm around the man's shoulders. "Would you like some more tea?!"

IX shook his head frantically, trying to get out of Luxord's grip. "No no no no no!! I don't have the time!!"

Xaldin perked up at these words. "Time!?! TIME!??!?! WHO'S GOT THE TIME!??!?!??!!?!!!"

Demyx blinked a couple of times and glanced at his watch. "I have the time! And it says....I'M LATE!! AHHHH!!!" He pulled out of Luxord's death grip, looking around the room frantically before gasping loudly when he saw the paper he had forgotten in the room earlier. "YES!" He was quick to take the paper off of the table.

"Okay, gotta go!" He cried out before he began to sprint off.

"HOLD IT!!" Luxord commanded, and Demyx somehow managed to stop in mid-run. "W-Whaa?"

"LET ME SEE THAT WATCH!!!" Xaldin gripped the sitarists wrist and pulled him back to the table before he managed to protest. "Here you are sir!" "Why THANK you Xaldin!" Luxord giggled a little, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a monocle. He put it over his left eye, taking a closer look at the watch.

"Well OF COURSE you're late! This watch is two weeks slow!!"

Demyx whimpered a little, looking back and forth from the door and Luxord. "W-Wha? Are you sure!?"

The elder blonde scoffed as though offended. "Sure? My boy, in my day I was the grandest watcher of all Hillsburg!"

At this Xaldin burst into a fit of giggles, holding his gut, Luxord ignored this. "I'll FIX this watch, and in thanks you'll have to get us MORE TEA."

Xaldin suddenly stood erect. "YES. MORE TEA."

Pulling the watch off of Demyx's wrist, the bearded nobody continued to examine it, fiddling with the dials. But Xaldin was getting impatient, he wanted the damn watch fixed so he could have more tea already!

So, he decided to take matters into his own hands.

"I CAN FIX THE WATCH!!!!" Xaldin cried out loudly, pointing a finger into the air and summoning his lances. "NO YOU FOOL!!" Luxord yelled in protest, but it was too late. Xaldin snapped his fingers and in an instant all of his lances hurtled at, and collided with Demyx's wrist watch.

Needless to say, the watch, as well as the table it had been sitting on, didn't stand a chance.

The entire party, including Roxas who was in the back, observed the damage with a look of dumbfound shock. Xaldin's lances, which were lodged though the table disappeared revealing Demyx's wrist watch, which was nothing but a pile of broken parts.

"...Two weeks slow, that's what it is. Come my boy! Let's have MORE TEA!!"

"YES." Xaldin cried out, pouring himself another cup of steaming hot tea. "MORE TEA!!" With that he gulped it down, Luxord doing the same with his own scalding hot cup. They sighed contently for a second, before their eyes watered and their faces turned red. "AAHHH!!! HOT TEA!! HHHOOOTTTT TTEEEAA!!!!" The screamed in unison, running around the room, searching for things to cool their burning tongues with.

Meanwhile, Demyx had fallen to his knees, whimpering as he gently touched his shattered watch. He sniffled. "My....my watch..."

Roxas put a comforting hand on his shoulder, the touch was awkward, to say the least. Seeing as Roxas really didn't give a crap about Demyx and his stupid watch.

"...There there...Uh, it'll be... okay." The sitarist only whimpered an sniffled some more.

"Hey Demyx? I know you're mourning the death of your watch and all but...Have you seen Axel anywhere?"

At this, Demyx, who was a few seconds away from tears just a moment ago, suddenly perked up, looking at Roxas with a smile. "Yup! I just saw him a few minutes ago!"

The teen nodded, waiting for Demyx to continue. He waited another minute or two, before sighing and rolling his eyes. "Okay...Where did you see him?"

"....Hmmm....Well let's see...I was running, then I ran into him, then he asked me where you were...then I checked my watch." He suddenly let out a loud moan of sorrow. "My watch..." Then he gasped loudly, jumping to his feet. "MY WATCH! HOLY CRAP I'M LATE!!! SORRY ROXAS!! I GOTTA GO!!!"

With that, he opened a portal and ran into it, crying out about being late all the while. Roxas just stared at the empty space where the portal had once been, just a bit dumbfounded. He rolled his eyes, rubbing his forehead. "...I need drugs." He mumbled to himself, before turning and heading out of the kitchen, leaving Luxord and Xaldin alone to drink more water out of the sink in an attempt to cool their burnt tongues.

**-END OF CHAPTER 6-**

**TO BE CONTINUED.**

**LOLZ REVIEW PLEASE!**


	7. Chapter 7

You know, being trapped in a book isn't all it's cracked up to be.

No, really, it isn't. I mean, hell, you'd think being trapped in a book would be fun, you know? But it wasn't. There weren't any timeless adventures waiting to greet Axel, no yellow teddy bears to harass him into getting honey.

He was just…trapped. Stuck on a blank page, his arms and legs pinned down by some invisible force.

It sucked really, he couldn't move, he could barely BREATHE.

To put it bluntly? He felt like a bondage whore.

Yes, a bondage whore, trapped in a fire proof book.

Fun.

Zexion watched in amusement as said redheaded bondage whore continuously attempted to set the book on fire. He only succeeded in setting himself on fire, however. Because, like I mentioned just a few sentences ago, the book is flame retardant.

The azure haired nobody rolled his eyes as Axel continued to attempt to set his book on fire.

"Keep your temper."

There was silence for a moment, before Axel's eye twitched, in anger, of course.

"KEEP MY TEMPTER!?! **YOU'RE** THE ONE WHO TRAPPED ME IN THIS FUCKING BOOK~!!"

"You threatened to burn down my library-"

"-AND NOW YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP MY FUCKING TEMPER?!?"

"Yes."

"…"

"I will release you the moment you decide to calm down, until then however-"

He was cut off by the sound of the library door opening. Roxas poked his head through the crack in the door, looking around the library for a moment.

"Ahh, XIII, how might I help you this fine evening?"

At this, Axel's eyes went wide. "ROX-" Zexion was quick to slam the book closed, muffling the cry for help. "MMMFFFHH."

Roxas raised an eyebrow, staring at the book curiously. "…What's with your book?" He asked, still hearing the what sounded like muffled cries coming from the book.

"Never mind that." Zexion gave the book a smack, which silenced the redhead within.

"What is it that you need, XIII?"

"….Right, uh. I'm looking for Axel. Do you think you could do your…nose…thing and tell me where he is? ….Please?"

"Certainly. " Zexion tilted his head upwards, taking a deep whiff of the air, locating each and every nobody within the castle in a matter of seconds.

After a moment, he looked back down at Roxas, resisting the urge to smirk, he responded. "I apologize, XIII, but VIII is nowhere on the castle grounds. Perhaps our superior sent him on a mission."

Holding his hand out, Zexion summoned a portal beside the blonde. "Why don't you go ask him yourself?" Roxas looked at the portal wryly, but nodded in thanks, stepping into the darkness.

Once he was gone, Zexion opened his book once again, smirking down at the obviously pissed off redhead. "Would you like to be freed?"

"…Yes, please." Axel responded with clenched teeth, and Zexion only chuckled. "Of course. But first you must answer my question."

"And what question is that, Zexion?" The pyro asked, malice evident in his voice.

"A simple question. Who. Are. You?"

"…What?"

"Who are you?"

For a moment, Axel had a 'wtf' look on his face, before answering. "Uh, Axel?"

"No, who ARE you?"

"…What? I don't know, uh, VIII? The flurry of dancing flames? Reno!?! What do you WANT from me!?"

"I want you to tell me who you are, Axel."

"I JUST DID, YOU DUMBFUCK~!!"

At this Zexion only chuckled. "Keep your temper. I am not asking you your nobody name, nor your number or title, not even your somebody's name."

"Then what the hell is the point of asking who I am!??!"

"Simple. This entire incident occurred because you wanted to know why XIII was upset with you, correct?"

"…Yeah."

Zexion smirked a little. "I am offering you the answer, am I not? So I suggest you be a little more grateful."

"….Fine. I'm sorry, whatever." He rolled his eyes. "Now what's this answer?"

The schemers smirk widened. "Every answer must begin with a question, and do you know what that question is, Axel?"

The redhead blinked once or twice, still pinned to the page in the book. "Who are you?"

"Precisely. Who. Are. You?"

"…I still don't understand."

"It's quite simple. XIII was already upset when you arrived in the library. You must have guessed this by now."

Axel nodded as best as he could.

"Good. Now, do you recall what book he was reading?"

"…Yeah, the same book YOU made me read… Alice in Wonderland."

"Which brings us right back to our question; who are you?"

"You mean, in the book?"

Zexion's smirk widened. "Yes, in the story of Alice 's Adventures in Wonderland. Who are you? Who do you remind XIII of so much that he lashed out at you in his anger?"

"…I…"

"Yes, that's right VIII, Who are you?"

"… Alice ?"

Zexion almost face palmed at that response. "Not from YOUR point of view VIII, from XIII's. If he is Alice, then; WHO. ARE. YOU?"

Axel's brow furrowed in deep concentration. "…Am I…The Cheshire Cat?"

"…Bingo."

There was a flash of light, and Axel found himself standing in the library, able to move again.

"…Alright…So I'm the Cheshire Cat. So why does that piss Roxas off?"

"Did you not pay attention to the book, VII? Recall, Alice was always drawn to the cat, to the point of infatuation some even say. This infatuation began when she first met the cat, whom at the time was devious, cunning even. Yet, when it was getting her into to trouble, and, to put it bluntly, being annoying, she hated the thing."

Axel's eyes widened a bit in realization. "…So you're saying…"

"The Axel that Roxas is attracted to, is the one who attempts to seduce everything that moves. When you are purposely talking smoothly, or casually draping your arms around someone in an almost teasing attempt at seduction, XIII finds himself completely attracted to you. To the point where he even slept with you, most likely because you used your best….moves….on him. That being said. When you're being an IDIOT, and poking him over and over while yelling like a moron…"

"I get it, I get it."

"I figured you would."

Axel sighed deeply, running a hand through his hair. "So where's Roxas now?" Zexion took another whiff of the air. "...In the superior's office, and it seems as though he needs your assistance. I suggest you hurry." He opened a portal, and Axel gave him a half salute and a grin. "Right then, thanks Zexy~!" With that, Axel stepped into the portal, which was quick to disappear behind him.

Up in Zexion's chair, the schemer smirked. "I suppose it's time to find out how deep the rabbit hole truly goes..."

**END OF CHAPTER 7**

**TO BE CONTINUED**

**CURIOUSER AND CURIOUSER, LOLZ. REVIEW/COMMENT PLZ!  
**


	8. Chapter 8

What happened to Roxas next was a blur.

Okay. I lied again. It wasn't REALLY a blur, I just really have no idea what to write here, cause I'm not feeling all that creative today.

…So wait, does that mean that is really IS a blur?

Uhhh…

What happened to Roxas next was a blur to both himself, AND the author.

Yeah, there we go.

The only thing that Roxas knew was that he was on trial. Supposedly for forgetting to knock before he entered the Superior's room. But he knew that was bullshit. The REAL reason he was on trial was because he refused to join Saix in a game of "Man-servant" with the superior.

His reply was that he had no intention of spending his afternoon parading in a French maid outfit giving Xemnas blow jobs.

Needless to say, Xemnas was offended by Roxas's lack of willingness to participate in his game, so he cried out, quite angrily. "TURN HIM INTO A DUSK!!!"

Saix, who was clad in his own French maid outfit, put a hand on the silver haired man's shoulder.

"Consider Superior, shouldn't he be given a trail?"

The reason as to WHY Saix was defending him, was unknown, and would stay that way for a while. Anyway…Xemnas seemed to consider this option, after a moment, he nodded. "Yes, a trial sounds appropriate…THEN we shall turn him into a dusk!"

Roxas was about to remark that having a trail would be pointless if he was just going to be turned into a dusk anyway. But the author screamed at him to keep his sexy little mouth shut, and just wait to see what happens. Roxas agreed to this, and so, here he was, on trial.

And what a peculiar up trail it was!

Xemnas and Saix, who, was still in a French maid outfit, were sitting on two large thrones, with a great crowd of different nobodies surrounding them in the audience. Everything from Dancer dusks, to the normal, freaky ones. Roxas stood before them, in shackles. A samurai dusk on either side of him.

To the left of the Superior, was a small jury box, which consisted of only four members of the organization. Lexaeus, Larxene, Xigbar, and Vexen.

Lexaeus sat quietly, twitting his fingers. Larxene sat to his right pressing a doll, which bore a disturbing resemblance to Xigbar, to her left breast, seemingly breast feeding the thing as she hummed. But Roxas couldn't be sure if that was what she was doing, seeing as she was still wearing her coat, so it didn't SEEM like she was breast feeding it…

But then why press the thing so adamantly against her breast? Roxas didn't know, and neither did Xigbar who, the blonde noted, looked quite disturbed at the sight of Larxene and her doll, and was continuously trying to scoot away from the woman, finding there really was no where to go.

Vexen sat beside him, saying nothing, only fiddling with a beaker in his hand, a few others filled with different colored liquids placed in front of him on a small ice desk he had created.

Xemnas drummed his fingers on the armrest of his throne impatiently. "WHERE IS HE!?!?" The superior bellowed out, startling almost all of the occupants of the room.

"Here superior!! I'm here!" Demyx wheezed out, running into the room as best as he could, and up to the throne, holding a sheet of paper.

"GOOD. Let's get on with this then!"

Demyx nodded, panting a little as he read out from his paper, stating Roxas's charges.

The fact that Demyx even KNEW what his charges were made Roxas suspicious. What? Did that idiot sitar player KNOW what was going to happen this whole time? And if he did, why the HELL didn't he say anything!?!?

"ENOUGH!" Xemnas cried, making Demyx jump and whimper. "Y-Yes sir…"

"Now, for the witnesses." Called out Saix. "First witness, X! Come to the stand."

Luxord walked up to the stand, sitting down into the chair calmly, a cup of tea in his hands.

"And what do YOU have to say about this incident?!" Luxord said nothing, only sat, his legs crossed as he nursed his tea calmly, his eyes closed.

"WELL!?!"

The gambler's eyes shot open at this, before he relaxed, taking another sip of tea, before clearing his throat and speaking.  
"There's a face on my plant and his name is...

...Ant.

Ant always wanted to be a face on a tree.

But it wasn't meant to be.

Poor ant.

Poor little fanty ant.

Who's face, will never be on a tree.

Well, not like it sucks for ME.

So I don't care."

There was silence in the court room for a moment, before all the dusks in the room burst into fits of uncontrollable sobs. Even Lexaeus had tears brimming in his eyes. Xemnas had a look of deep mourning on his face; Saix stroked his hair, comforting his superior, tear stricken as well.

"P-Poor fanty ant!" Sobbed out Lexaeus, who blew his nose, rather loudly on Larxene's coat. She didn't notice this.

Roxas stood with a 'wtf?!?' look on his face. Luckily for him, he wouldn't have to endure much longer, seeing as sex-cough- I mean, Axel had portaled into the room beside him, the rest of the people in the room, including the dusks that were guarding Roxas were much to grief stricken to notice the appearance of the sexy redhead.

Roxas was about to let out a loud sigh of relief, but Axel put a finger to his lips, silencing him. The teen nodded, staying quiet and watching as Axel summoned his chakram, about to break through the shackles holding him.

"ENOUGH!!" bellowed Xemnas, and Axel was quick to duck under a conveniently placed table next to the blonde. Nobody noticed him.

"Do you have anything ELSE to add to this statement, X?" Saix asked Luxord, who shook his head and calmly stood. "No, I do not." With that, he stripped himself of his coat, his shirt, and his pants, and exclaimed, rather loudly. "I HAVE A SNAKE IN MY BOOT!!! BWEAHAHAAHHHA!!!"

He ran out of the room, and everyone seemed to ignore this, as though it was a common occurrence. Well, everyone but Axel and Roxas, who stared, slightly dumbfounded.

"NEXT WITTNESS!!!" Screamed Xemnas. Marluxia stood, going over to the stand, and then taking his seat, kicking Luxord's forgotten clothes to the side.

"What do you know about this incident, XI?"

"Ah, what do I know about the WEED?" He gave Roxas a remarkably dirty look as he said this. The blonde responded with a rather dirty gesture of his own. Axel snickered, still hidden under the table.

Marluxia frowned at the blonde. "I can tell you this, Superior. XIII is GUILTY ON ALL COUNTS!!"

At this, Xemnas gasped loudly. "I KNEW IT!!"

"What!?! That makes NO SENSE!" Yelled Roxas, who was getting quite pissed off.

"Oh?" Xemnas replied indigently. "Do you have any evidence against the accusation?!"

"Do YOU have any evidence proving I did it!?!"

At this, the entire court room fell into silence for a moment, before Vexen stood, crying out, rather loudly, that he had all the evidence needed for a conviction.

"Let me see it!" Xemnas demanded, and Vexen smirked. "The evidence lies within these vials! When I mix these two chemicals, then the truth shall be revealed!"

Xemnas nodded at him, giving him the okay. Vexen's creepy smirk widened and he dribbled some of the blue liquid, into the red one.

Absolutely nothing happened.

"…Huh, that's not supposed to happen. Oh well." He shrugged, tossing the vials over his shoulder. They collided with the wall and exploded, then began covering the room in a thick purple smoke.

Axel took this as his opportunity. As everyone started covering their mouths and coughing their lungs out, Axel ran out from under the table, quickly slicing through Roxas's restraints, and then opening a portal, shoving the blonde in, and stepping in after him.

**-END OF CHAPTER 8-**

LOLZER BEANS

COMMENT/REVIEW PLZ


	9. THE END!

What happened to Roxas next was a blur.

…Wait....

That's the same opening I used for the last chapter, isn't it?

...*goes to check* ...Yeeeaaahhh...

Whoops?

...Uh...

Um...

What happened to AXEL next was a blur.

…

No...

Right.

Shit.

Uhhhhhhhh...

Okay~!

Wait!

YES.

I GOT IT.

HERE WE GOOOO~!

*ahem*

If there was one word Roxas could use to describe the day he had so far, it would be...

Nonsense.

He purposely ignored the fact that Alice used that same exact word in the book, to describe HER day...

Yes, he ignored that coincidence, and instead turned his attention to a certain sexy redhead...Who was currently doubled over, coughing his lungs out, growling profanities. The young blonde only caught a few choice words such as "Analwhores!" "CockSuckers!" And his favorite. "Fuckers!"

Roxas couldn't help but laugh a little at the redhead's pain, seeing as poor Axel hadn't been smart enough to hold his breath when that weird purple smoke filled the 'court room'

The blonde wasn't sure exactly how to react when the memory of the last chapter entered his mind. Half of him wanted to be pissed, half of him wanted to go to sleep, and the other half was being groped by Axel. Wait, WHAT??

"A-Axel! What the hell are you doing!?!?" Cried out Roxas, his face flushed a very attractive shade of red. Said sexy redheaded nobody only grinned, standing behind the blonde, leaning down and slowly pulling XIII's coat zipper down.

"Well...Right about now, I'm pulling your coat zipper down, and in just a minute, I'm going to toy with those two cute little nipples of yours. Why do you ask?"

The sheer _tone _ in Axel's voice was enough to make Roxas almost want to cream himself right then and there...

….Okay, I REALLY need to stop lying.

Well, it wasn't entirely a lie. I mean, Axel DID lower his voice to an arousingly low octave, and he was whispering sexy words into his ear, and it DID make Roxas aroused....Just not 'cream yourself' aroused.

….

….

Yeah, I'm gonna get back to to the story now.

ANYWAY.

Roxas, needless to say(but I'll say it anyway) was shocked. Why, you ask?

Well, I'll tell you, if you really want to know that bad.

And trust me, you do.

He was shocked because, well fuck! Last time Roxas saw Axel, the redhead was poking the hell out of him, and making him want to grab his oathkeeper keyblade and shove it up Axel's piss hole.

...And that's saying something, seeing as oathkeeper is the SHARP one...shaped like a star.

Yeah, ouch.

So Roxas, being the shocked little sexy blonde nobody that he was, squeaked like a girly virgin when Axel felt him up, and said such naughty things to him.

...Don't get me wrong! It's not like Roxas is a girly virgin or anything....

...He was just shocked, is all.

But regardless of the reason, Roxas still squeaked. And Axel? Well, Axel laughed, a large Cheshire like grin coming to his lips.

"You okay there Rox?"

"Sh-Shut up~! W-What's gotten into you, Axel??"

The redhead only smirked, his fingers dancing along Roxas's now bare chest, his chest still pressed against the blonde's back. "Nothing. I'm just tired of being rejected by you. So I thought that I'd molest you and see what happens..."

"Uh huh. So, how would this be any different from the other times you molested me and I rejected you?" Asked the blonde, a little smirk coming to his lips as Axel's fingers trailed up his chest, slowly circling around the teens nipples.

"Well Roxy, let me put it to you this way..." He pinched and tugged on the blonde's nipples, harshly. "This time, I'm not taking no for an answer." He hissed directly into Roxas's ear, pulling away from him for a moment, only to shove him on to the bed.

Axel unzipped his coat, sliding it off of his body, stepping foreword. "And something tells me you're not gonna fight me very hard on this, right?" His eyes were blazing as his said this, a light, sadistic smirk on his lips and he walked closer to the bed.

Roxas swallowed dryly, watching as Axel stepped foreword, he could've sworn the room was getting hotter and hotter with each step closer the redhead took. He felt sweat drip down his skin from under his cloak, and he found himself at a loss for words. Axel was never this demanding of him...

Well, that wasn't entirely true. He had been like this before. Dark and seductive, just like Roxas liked him...But recently he had just been, well, a dumbass.

...But you already knew that, didn't you?

Of course you did.

Moving right along.

Shockingly enough, Roxas didn't want to refuse Axel sex, instead he was oddly submissive, watching with half lidded, lust drenched eyes as the redhead moved closer to him. Roxas pulled himself up on his elbows, unable to resist the urge to lick his lips as Axel crawled onto the bed.

The blonde found himself trapped between Axel's arms on both sides of him, the elders body almost hovering his above his own, a little smirk on the redheads lips as he leaned down, pressing his lips against Roxas's neck biting down on the skin before sucking on it roughly, sure to leave one hell of a mark.

It wasn't long until both men were fully nude, Axel's enthusiasm coupled with Roxas's mounting excitement was enough to bring them closer and closer to that point of no return. Axel positioned himself over the blonde, who, in his hazy aroused state, was surprisingly able to let out coherent words.

"W-Wait...This is _insane._" He whispered out his palms pressing against Axel's chest lightly, pushing softly, half heartedly denying the man. However the redhead would have nothing of it, he took Roxas's wrists and pinned them above the blonde's head, a Cheshire grin on his lips as he leaned down, his lips hovering above the blonde's. "Insane? Didn't you notice Rox?"

He leaned closer, and Roxas half expected the man to shove his tongue down his throat, however he let out a low groan, his body shuttering as Axel began pressing into him, the redhead's lips at his ear as he whispered, still grinning. "_We're all mad here._"

At this, Roxas's eyes widened and he ceased all attempts to resist the redhead above him, who let out a low moan of his own as he entered the blonde, his face buried into the younger's neck, breathing in the scent of sweat and arousal as he moved.

The sensations were enough to make Roxas whimper with need, he let his head fall back as he completely submitted to the man above him, and once Axel removed his wrists Roxas buried his fingers into the pyro's hair.

"_Fuck...Roxas..._"

"Ngh...Axel..."

And so, they fucked. They fucked for a very long time, both men moaned at the correct times, of course. And each time Axel rocked his hips against Roxas's, the little blonde let out a particularly loud moan.

Yes, they had lots of yummy sex. Yummy, yummy sex. And by the time they were done both were spent, slightly sore(Roxas more so) And satisfied.

...Well, not entirely.

As both men lay in bed, nude, Roxas, who's head was lying on Axel's bare chest, let out a growl of frustration.

Axel, who was stroking the blonde's hair looked down at him, with a bit of a frown. "What? Want me to stop?" He immediately pulled his hand away from Roxas's hair.

The younger nobody shook his head. "No, it's not that..." He groaned again, covering his face with his hands for a moment. "It's just...Jeez Ax! After all the shit we went though today...Aren't you at least a LITTLE pissed?"

Axel seemed to consider this for a moment, staring at the ceiling of the room before responding. "...Well, when I think about it, yeah, I'm pretty pissed about it. That's what's got you so frustrated? I thought I helped you kill all that pent up frustration." The redhead smirked a little as he said this, his fingers once again tangled into the blonde locks.

Said blonde rolled his eyes a bit, "Yes. You did. Only for a little while. I'm still fucking pissed. I went though a lot of hell today, I want some fucking revenge."

At this, Axel quirked a brow, his lips twisting into another Cheshire like grin. "Oh? Revenge? And just what do you have in mind, Rox?"

The younger rolled over so that his chest was pressed against the redhead's, his smirk mirroring Axel's own. "Oh, a few things..."

-A FEW HOURS LATER-

All was quiet in 'The Castle That Never Was.' It was sleep time. I'm not gonna write 'night time' because it's always night there. So yes, it was sleep time for everybody. So of course, all of the nobodies were asleep...

Except two, of course.

Both had matching sadistic grins of destruction on their lips as they quietly made their way through a hallway, in the darkness, heading for the door at the end of the hall which had dried dirt footprints embedded on the carpet from someone stomping away earlier.

Inside that very door, a blossom sighed deeply, toying with her petals with her leafs. "Sssiiigggh...I hope we meet that flower again...Roxas..." She giggled quite girlishly. "He was SO CUTE!!!"

"Oh HUSH blossom! You and your stupid crushes! That was no flower, he was nothing but a WEED. An UGLY one at that." Cried a tulip, rolling her eyes.

The large rose beside her nodded. "Yes, a filthy-"

"-Disgusting-" Added a carnation

"-Ugly-" Added a daisy.

"-Stupid-" Added a forget me not.

"WEED!" Finished all the flowers(except blossom) in unison!

All of the flowers (except blossom, who was frowning and crossing her 'arms) laughed merrily, because of course, flowers don't sleep so what were they to do with their lives other then gossip? Except blossom, of course.

Their laughter was interrupted however, when they heard footsteps nearing, the flowers (except blossom) looked over towards the sound in excitement. "Oh my! Master is that you?" Asked the rose, the others looked closer, little smiles on their lips. "Oh Master~! Come out!" "We've missed you!"

"Yes, yes! Come closer, tell us more about the_ weed_." Said the tulip, the wood 'weed' spoken with much more disdain then necessary, it sent the other flowers (except blossom) into a fit of laughter.

Which was abruptly stopped when a very shiny keyblade whirled through the air, cutting the tulip in half with a clean sweep before returning to it's master. Axel stood beside the seething blonde, his Cheshire like grin widening, chakrams ready in his hand.

"Ya hear that Rox? They think you're filthy, ugly, disgusting, and stupid. Of course I know they're just full of shit. But maybe we should teach them a lesson?"

The flowers, all of whom were horrified by the death of the tulip looked over at Roxas with wide, fearful eyes. Yes, even blossom was afraid of the seething blonde. An incredibly sadistic smirk came to the young nobody's lips, and his grip on his keyblades tightened. "It'd be my _pleasure _Axel."

The flowers screamed and cried and tried to get away as Roxas attacked them, sadly they were all rooted to the ground, so they could only stay where they were and get brutally murdered by Roxas's keyblades.

All except blossom, and the rose, who were wide eyed, teary and quivering in fear. But Roxas spared them, he looked over his shoulder, giving Axel a small nod.

Blossom was much to horrified to speak, the rose however, stood her ground or whatever, glaring down at the blonde. "Oh? And why have you spared me? You disgusting little WEED. Do you feel some sort of MERCY within your tainted-" But Roxas thrust his keyblade foreword, only centimeters from her face, his smirk widening. "Nope. The reason you're still alive is, because I wanted to kill you last. Axel?"

The redhead let out a chuckle, looking directly at the rose as he spoke. "See ya." He snapped his fingers and the damn thing burst into flame. Axel wrapped his arms around Roxas's shoulders, both watching the damn thing burn happily.

Blossom was in the background, watching with slight horror at what was going on in front of her. However she stayed quiet, wondering what her fate was, to her extreme delight Axel and Roxas turned from the burnt, dead rose and began walking away. As they walked away Roxas looked back at her with a little grin and a wink.

She swooned, letting out a pretty flowery scent, having totally forgotten about her dead comrades around her.

And what happened to the rest, you may ask?

Well, Xemnas and Saix, after the trail, had just shrugged off Roxas's disappearance and headed back to the superiors quarters to continue their delicious game of man servant.

Luxord and Xaldin were hereby banned from tea by Xemnas before he returned to his quarters with Saix. Both became shockingly depressed, but only for a moment however, before they realized they could just drink the rum, WITHOUT the tea. So alas, a solution was found for them, and they spent the rest of the day/night/week drinking bottle after bottle of rum, quite happily.

As for Larxene and Xigbar? ….Well, lets just say Larxene returned to her room, only to be horrified, finding her Xigbar doll full of bullet holes and completely dead. She almost cried, hitting it quite violently, hoping to spur the 'MAMA' sound from it. But to no luck.

Xigbar was found the next day, in his room, with knives impaled into certain unmentionable body parts. After he was released from Vexen's care in the lab, he only had one thing to say. "If that had been permanent I would've been fucking PISSED!!!"

As for Zexion and Demyx? Well, lets check shall we?

"GGAAGHHAAHH!!!!"

Demyx's head, which had little white bunny ears attached to it, shot up, his eyes wide as he looked at Zexion and whispered. "...That sounded like Xigbar...Should we check it out?"

Zexion craned his head up to look at Demyx, "Ignore it." He whispered out, his face flushed, and only becoming redder as the blonde giggled, leaning down again, his head disappearing under the sheets.

Needless to say, Zexion found out how deep the rabbit hole goes.

Hmm, who am I forgetting?

Oh yes, Marluxia.

Marluxia was found in his garden, lying on the ground in a fetal position, the entire garden having been entirely burned down, except for blossom, the sole survivor, who was still busy swooning over the fact that her crush not only spared her, but WINKED AT HER!!!

Roxas and Axel continued to have an amazing sex life, but both boys swore on their lives that, even if XEMNAS ordered them, they would NEVER go to Wonderland.

They suddenly felt very, very sorry for Alice.

And in Wonderland, Alice sneezed.

THE END!!!!!!  
FINALLY!!! XDXD

CHARACTER LIST (based off of the book "Alice's Adventures In Wonderland):

1. Xemnas = The Queen of Hearts  
2. Xigbar = The Dodo  
3. Xaldin = The March Hare  
4. Vexen = The Gryphon

5. Lexaeus = The Mouse  
6. Zexion = The Caterpillar  
7. Saix = The King of Hearts  
8. Axel = The Cheshire Cat  
9. Demyx = The White Rabbit

10. Luxord = The Mad Hatter  
11. Marluxia = The Rose  
12. Larxene = The Duchess  
13. Roxas = Alice

THANK YOU TO EVERYBODY WHO READ/REVIEWED/FAVED THIS FIC. YOU ARE ALL AMAZING. THANK YOU, I LOVE YOU!!! :D


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